Feedback Email By Aakshey

Guys,

Aakshey this side.

I apologise for our past rejections. I was unable to convey how the Perry tool was to be used. Please STOP using it with immediate effect. Go back to writing the way you were writing earlier.

The team as a whole has misinterpreted what I meant when I said to write at Grade 5. What we have delivered has lost us precious clients. And I take the full blame. Stop using the Perry tool, like yesterday.

I’ll pay you in full for all your rejected work. And we will make this right for our clients going forward. Because it was all my fault.

Please find below the checklist that you need to follow for all future work, for all clients:

You’re writing for mature, educated and smart adults. They are your target audience. You’re NOT writing for 10 yr olds. You need to talk intelligently and not mention obvious stuff. They know all that!

Use a witty writing style. Use sarcasm, satire, tongue in cheek humour. Use pun. Make the reader think. Be complete and specific. But raise the bar. Talk to mature and smart college educated adults. Talk smartly.

You have to talk in a conversational manner. But while educating your reader of stuff they don’t know. Don’t mention obvious stuff that is targeted at kids. Your readers are educated and smart adults. They want to know stuff that the average person doesn’t know.

Talk like an expert on the subject. And talk on complicated subjects. Advanced concepts. Try to explain it like you’d explain it to your 25 yr old friend. Not how you’d explain it to your 10 yr old niece. Talk of stuff that is rare and difficult to research. And stuff that passionate 25-30 yr olds could get fascinated about. Don’t assume they know complicated concepts, you’ll need to explain all that to them. But in a mature manner. You don’t need to explain basic stuff to them.

Use flowery vocabulary. Use difficult words. Colorful language. Jazzy words. Difficult slang. And do that in a witty and clever manner. Don’t write for PHDs, but for college educated 25 yr olds who are earning six figure salaries.

Stop using the Perry Tool. You can consider using it for You:Me. But that is it. Don’t use it. It is fine if you use 12-15 words per sentence on an average.

2-4 sentence paragraphs are fine. Don’t go beyond 4 sentences though.

Don’t write for 10 yr olds. Write for 25 yr olds. Don’t write for teenagers. Don’t use words like ‘gross’ that teenagers use. Don’t talk of stuff a 25 yr old already knows. Talk of what they don’t know. Talk of stuff that can excite them. Talk smartly. Be clear. Be specific. But talk what smart adults want to learn. Not kindergarten basics. Everybody knows all that. Talk stuff they don’t know nothing about.

Don’t worry. I’ll be paying you for all the rejected content.

But. Going forward we need to fix this.

So anything that you submit onwards of now, has to take into consideration the above.

Case Studies – Examples of where we went wrong

There is no concrete evidence available yet, that these plastic compounds can cause cancer. However, we do know plastic is unnatural and that it is clearly handled.

Everybody knows that plastic is unnatural and how it is handled. Writing this is insulting the intelligence of the reader. Would you tell this to you 25 year old buddy?
No.

It is not fun to be sick. What if you already have the ingredients to make a miracle tea?

Again. This is okay if you’re writing for a kindergarten audience. But would you write like this for a 25 yr old college educated adult who works as an engineer or banker?

People get the disease when someone else spreads the virus in the air.

Again. You’re insulting the intelligence of the reader. Would you like to read this on Forbes.com? Of course not!

Cancer: It’s a big, scary disease that takes lives every day.

A cute way to scare a 3 yr old. But this isn’t what you write when you’re teaching a MS 1st year student.

What makes this fruit core so powerful? It’s a vitamin. B17.

I won’t write this way for a 25 yr old audience.

Doctors have told us that vaccines are good. They can save your life. They are also the main way that we can fight debilitating and fatal diseases.

You’re not their mommy trying to preach them. You need to convince your 20-25 yr old buddy why life insurance could be critical. For example. Would you do it this way?

Bodies are weird and kind of gross.

The readers are no longer in high school. They aren’t teenagers.

Avoiding sleep keeps you up later, forcing your body to sleep less.

What does this tell you? Who doesn’t know this?

I know you’ve worked very hard. And I really really appreciate that.

And I’ll be paying you for your work. And giving you a lot of other work very soon.

I’ll even try to add a tiny bonus if possible.

But. We need to win back our good old clients.

We need to fix this. You need to fix this.

Going forward, keep the above in mind before you write a single sentence.

Assume you’re writing for a college educated and mature adult who is in their 20s or 30s and earning mid five figure or low six figure salaries.

An adult who is either a Bachelor or Masters and is working in a good corporate job.

Talk smartly. Don’t talk stuff they know. Talk to them like you’d talk to your friend. And talk of stuff they’d be curious to know about.

Use flowery language. Colourful vocab. Pun. Wit. Humour. Sarcasm. Satire. Be clever. Don’t over do it. But do it naturally. Use words that will catch their attention. Be jazzy.
You’re writing for an audience that is in their 20s/30s/40s. Not adolescents or teenagers.

I’m sure you’ll nail it this time. I’m banking on you.

Wait for the next email from Jo.

She has an off today. She will get back to you within 16-30 hrs tops. Make sure you have understood this email by then.

And do remember, don’t overdo it. But don’t under do it either.

Forget about Perry. I couldn’t explain what I had in mind. Let us move further without that tool for the most part.

Looking forward to doing business with you. Lots of it. Soon.

All the best, God Bless!

Thanks

Aakshey
Weaving Thoughts

P.S. I take full blame for this. You’re not to blame. I am. πŸ™

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